Insecurity

As I am thinking about what this word means to me I think back to when I was in middle school, high school and college. I think back to what different ways it affected my life…
Middle school consisted of the awkward years where your body parts out grow each other and your clothing tastes include trying to match stripes and polka dots together. In middle school I was the girl with big glasses who played violin and clarinet. I was becoming one of the shorter students and I was unsure of my identity at school and even in my faith. I had close friends, but I was not considered popular. In middle school cliques formed that would define high school social placement.

High school I was a band nerd, I LOVED marching band. I was in the music wing every moment I could. Again I wasn’t popular and I had my group of friends around me. In high school my insecurity was tied around faith. You see when I decided to open up about my faith and really act out on it; I was made fun of greatly. At first it affected me negatively and I was hesitant about my faith, but after a missions trip I realized that I needed to be bold about my faith. So I started bible club at school. I took a risk …

In college I dealt with trying to figure out my major and where I need to turn career wise. I started as a music major and switched to religion. It was not any easy switch because it upset my family. (They feel different, now that I am in ministry) I had to deal with understand the call of God being above my own selfish desires. I learned that insecurity always brought me to a place of knowing that I needed Christ even more. It taught me that I needed to humble myself and allow Christ to work.

All this to say I always though insecurity was an inward emotion/ feeling that was around because I wasn’t good enough when I compared myself to others. I knew it was something that separated me from God because it put my attention on myself instead of God. I always thought it was this negative feeling or emotion. I want to let you know that there is insecurity that until college I never understood to be insecurity. Most insecurity drives us to feel bad about our self and makes us wish we were better. This insecurity that I am referring to is of pride.

Pride drove the sin between Adam and Eve. Pride in ourselves, pride in our country. Pride in anything but the Lord drives us away from Him. When we turn our attention the Lord goes in the backseat. Pride will always be something we fight against because our human nature seeks to have pride in ourselves. Note: this doesn’t mean we can be proud of different things, but we must remember that Christ should remain the center of our focus.

Here is the test: Is what I love glorifying the Lord? Or is it pulling my attention away from the Lord? I believe if we keep this filter in mind we can understand whom we are. This can adjust our insecurity through pride, as well as when we are feeling low we can remember that we are designed to glorify God. Galatians 1:10 is a great verse to memorize!

I want to end with this: We are all created in the image of God. We are designed with beauty and purpose! Psalm 139, David goes into detail about how intimately God knows and understands us. You are designed with purpose; God does not create accidents! You are LOVED!

Written by: Kami

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