How to deal with mean girls

I felt my eyes well up with tears. As I walked swiftly by the lunch table a flood of laughter echoed in my ear.  I could not believe this was happening. A bunch of girls from my school had made up a lie about me and I had just heard the crazy accusations they were saying.  I walked swiftly into the bathroom and locked myself in a bathroom stall and cried. The pain and the accusations they were saying were not true but more than that I could not believe some of the girls I cheered with would talk so horribly about me. This was my first experience with what we now call the Mean Girls.

            Mean girls are in every school, every movie, online, and just about everywhere. As girls it is almost impossible to go through life without dealing with a situation involving a mean girl. No matter the age you become there will always be a mean girl most likely you will come across.  Mean girls use words that are like knives stabbing our hearts.  They try and aim for the weakest parts of ourselves just to try and get us to react and retaliate.  What often times we do not realize is behind those words most of the time is insecurity that runs deep in the soul of that girl who is trying to hurt you.  So how has God called you to respond to mean girls?

1.     Distance Yourself from the mean girl

When a mean girl is around causing trouble. Run!!! Try and associate with other people who are not associated with the mean girl.

Proverbs 14:7 “Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.”

Proverbs states leave the presence of a fool because there we do not have words of encouragement or knowledge. This can be applied in a mean girl situation. One she is obviously not building you up and giving you words that are knowledgeable so LEAVE. Don’t put up with meanness. Stand up for yourself and leave the premises if possible. Go to a place where you cannot be around that influence. If the situation is online. Take a break from social media. Don’t be a part social media if every time you get others are commenting on your post negative. Delete your Instagram, twitter whatever the situation may be make accommodations to protect yourself from the hurt.  

2.     Understand it is their issue not yours.

Know that there are people in your life who love you and care for you. Know that the friends that don’t talk about you, friends that encourage you, friends that want you to succeed are the people you need to surround yourself with and listen to.

               
    Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.”

Be around people who build you up and not down. Know that the people who are being mean to you are not sharpening you they are hurting you. Understand that the issue is them not you. Hurt people often times hurt other people because this world is sinful. So listen to what you family and friends say about not what mean girls say about you.

 Don’t believe what the mean girls may say or write about you. Know that you are loved and that the issue is them and not you.

3.     He call us to not speak badly about her to others

Psalms 34:13 “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.”

God commands us to watch what we say about others. Even though this girl said horrible mean things to others about you that might not be true. Do not repay her actions with doing the same thing she did to you. Stop and pray that God helps you watch how you talk about her or the situation.

In Psalm’s David cries out to God praying that he helps him watch what we say. We should make this our prayer as well.

    Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.

Pray this verse as your prayer that God guards your mouth and helps you keep watch over what you say. This can be difficult with the pain and hurt that one often feels when dealing with a mean girl. Be the example and not another mean girl. Do what is right and what God has called you to do no matter what.

4.     He calls us to Forgive

Matthew 6:13-15 “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

We as girls are supposed to forgive the mean girls that hurt us. It doesn’t mean that we should just back down and take their meanness or bullying. What it means is that we have to relinquish our right to get even. We have to be willing to let go and let God handle the situation.  Every time you remember the hurt you have endured, release it to God. It has to be a constant decision. It also is not going to always happen overnight. It takes time and healing. Jesus was asked at one point how often she would forgive people. He said seventy times seven, so we just have to constantly keep on forgiving.

5.     He calls us to come to him with our burdens and pain from the hurt they have caused us.

    We need to release our negative feelings and our hurt to the Lord. This is the best way to handle it.    
 1. Peter 5:7 “Cast all of your anxiety on the Lord because he cares for you.

When you surrender your hurts, anger, pain and despair to the Lord it means that you have given the total situation over the Lord. It means that is now God’s situation to handle.

Romans 12:19 “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord

He wants us to trust him to get the situation resolves. We have to trust him enough to know what is best for us. We have to let go of our pride and realize that God is always in control of the situation no matter what.  So the next time you are faced with a Mean Girl remember these points and know no matter what anyone says about you that you are valuable and loved by the Creator of the Universe.