I used to think that I needed to fit a mold to become someone’s girlfriend, but now I know that it is better to be who God made me.
When I was told that the theme for this month was relationships, I was perplexed. Being the girl who has never been in a relationship, yet oddly good at giving relationship advice, I figured that I could write about the importance of balancing your different relationships. Then I thought that singleness would make a good topic, but all I really have to say about that is that I’m twenty and comfortable being alone. I even thought about making a joke about the reality that I am the “Left Shark” of my friend group, but Jesus still loves me despite that. I then realized that I had a predisposition about what it looks like to be “girlfriend material,” and I was compelled to implore you, dear girl, to not sacrifice who you are for the hope of one day having a boyfriend.
I had a list of adjectives that I thought made people more “qualified” or “attractive” to the opposite sex while my quirks and preferences were items to be marked against me. I’m not super extraverted, and I usually end up fumbling over my words and looking awkward. I compliment strangers when I think they look cute, and it usually catches them off guard and shocks them. I’m way too passionate about California being the greatest state in the US, and I am the least athletic person you will ever meet. I don’t do my makeup well, and I talk about human trafficking frequently.
I had it in my mind that these were attributes that I needed to change about myself because I didn’t fit the “girlfriend” mold. I was less desirable. But the reality is, these personality traits are okay. In fact, they make me who I am, and it is better to wait for someone who likes the girl who oddly resembles “Left Shark” than to date somebody who likes my façade. A healthy relationship is one where you can date your best friend. It is a relationship where you can be painfully honest about who you are as your partner challenges you to be best version of yourself, a person who resembles Christ. Ladies, you want to be with the person who not only accepts your quirks, but likes your quirks. You want to be with someone who you can be yourself with. God made me the way that I am, and it would be a shame if I were to spit upon the woman that He made me for another person.
God did not make me to fit somebody’s mold for the perfect woman; he made me to fit his mold of holiness. He made me to pursue righteousness above all else. He made me to pursue a life that reflects his heart. He made me to long for his love before I long for the love of another person.
Ladies, be yourself. If your significant other is imploring you to change your sin pattern, then change, but never give up your God given callings and your passions for the hope that somebody will give you five minutes of attention. Be who God made you to be because you will be content in the life that God has called you to; you will not be content living a life of facades and self-denial. You want the man who will delight in who God has made you, not the boy who wants the girl you pretend to be.
So, be left shark and revel in the woman that God is molding you to be. You might just like the girl you see in the mirror.
Written By: Tara