A daughter's burden of divorce

As I sat staring across the table, tears streamed down my friend face. Her anxiety was crippling her and the burden she bore streamed down her light skin.  We had sat there for about two hours talking about the struggle she was currently facing. She looked at me and sighed “I just don’t know how to choose.” Her dilemma was that she had to pick between spending Christmas with her mom or her dad. The issue was that her dad if she did not spend Christmas with him he would be all alone. Whereas her mom would at least have her boyfriend’s family’s house to go too. “It’s been two years! You would think it would be easier” she said.  My friend paused and more tears streamed down her face. The burden I saw her facing was she wanted to please both parents but one would not be happy regardless of what she chose. Divorce really sucks. Families are torn apart and hearts become broken. 

Divorce is not something that people who get married plan on doing. Sometimes divorce can bring temporary relief to the situation at hand. But as the years pass the demands of the children who are in the middle get larger and heavier for them to bear, it can sometimes take a toll. Sometimes in divorce the children are caught in the middle. They have to hear one parent dis the other parent, this too can be a heavy burden.

As followers of Christ we are called to live a life above reproach. We are called to lay our burdens down.  Being a daughter who bears the burden of divorce you can not take on the responsibility, emotions, pain, etc of your parents. You have to give the situation of divorce over to the Lord.

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Rest. God will give you rest. Know that divorce was a decision that your parents made and now for the rest of your life you are affected by that decision. But instead of making the divorce, ramifications of the divorce, and the struggle of balancing both parents an overwhelming burden REST in knowing God is with you.  God will help you get through the hurt, the disappointment and the pain of the divorce.
But also know that it is normal to have emotions of frustration, anger, disappointment,and even heartbreak of the situation of divorce.  Each year will bring it's own challenge with divorce from holidays, to graduation, to wedding and grand kids one day. But know that even though the times will sometimes have tension and frustration you are not alone.

Isaiah 41:10: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Also, do not let your parent’s decision about their relationship make you believe you can not have a successful one. I know this is a struggle for many girls who have seen the pain divorce brings. Don’t let Satan let you buy into the lie that your relationship will be the same like your parents. Instead know that God is with you. Trust in him your future, your future relationship and know that he will be with you when that exciting time comes of spending forever with someone. I pray sweet girl, that you find Rest and comfort in our Savior Jesus and that you know that you are NOT ALONE! GOD IS WITH YOU.

Written by: Rebeccah