God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is a concept that I knew of for a long time but it took awhile for my heart to know. As a young girl, I always knew about Jesus and God but, I knew nothing truly of the Holy Spirit. My family would go from church to church so the gospel was something I knew only by word of mouth. At the age of eight, I got baptized. I remember owning my first Bible. It was a special moment and the beginning of my journey in understanding and knowing God.
Coming from a broken family, I did not know how to deal with problems. This lead to issues with bitterness and rebellion. My parents are divorced and the separation ended ugly. I found myself bitter due to comparing myself to others. I wanted a close relationship with my mother like other classmates had. I wanted to see my dad more than once a week. I wanted to be normal and fit in. I wish I could have told my younger self that comparison is the killer of gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 says: "Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it." So many times I try to control things instead of giving it over to God. I love this verse because it puts in perspective that our God is all knowing and is with us because he deeply knows our hearts. Instead of responding with kindness to others, my first reaction was anger because it was easier to display then the brokenness I felt.
Throughout elementary and middle school I was in and out of the principal's office. When I got to high school I covered my bitterness by using outlets but my insecurity was still there. I felt like an outcast and rejected. I voiced this to one of my friends who invited me to start attending bible study every Wednesday with her. That was when I saw God making moves in my life. A hunger ignited in me to seek after the presence of God. I learned that God could heal my brokenness if I laid my burdens down. I realized that I was called.
I found that my problems did not stop there. They were ruling over my life. As I left high school and entered college, I went through a season of depression and suffered from panic attacks. I kept holding on to the lie that I was not good enough and kept comparing myself to others. I learned that in my failures or when I did not meet the expectations I set for myself, I would be hard on myself. I believed the lie that I couldn't make it through the semesters. The only thing that calmed me down was me seeking God's presence. I knew that only in Him, I would find healing.
I finally surrendered to God and allowed him to be my provider, my redeemer. This happen after 2 years of college and many heartbreaks. By reading my Bible, I found truth in scripture that this world will never match. I learned that my value comes from God and that my life's journey is in his hands. My grades, people, and background do not define me. All I need to do is be faithful to the One who is also faithful to me. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 is a verse of great meaning to me, "Faithful is he that calleth you, who will also do it." I have grown to understand The Holy Trinity and its significance that it has in our faith. No matter our circumstances or insecurities, God is faithful. And we have a calling on our lives.