The Notebook, Titanic, Phantom of the Opera, even The Last Song are all classic tales
of the boy and the girl falling desperately in love. As a little girl, I grew up believing that all I had
to do was have a fairy Godmother hook me up real quick with a cutie prince. The reality of my
Prince Charming hasn’t been so charming. Unfortunately, love isn’t like the movies. Loneliness
is a real thing. It’s tough being the girl who is in love with the mere idea of love. Even if you don’t
bawl your eyes out watching every proposal video ever (I feel no shame), most of us have a
desire to be loved. Ya’ll, I never thought I’d be that super chill girl who was so cool and calm
about being single. Luckily, God is real and I began thanking Him for not making me kiss a frog
or lose a cute glass shoe or ya know, sleep for an eternity… okay that one’s debatable.
I’ve learned a load of things this past year but I’m no dating genius. Believe me, I want to
be with someone, too. You see, that’s the thing. I’ve dealt with a lot of insecurity in my life to the
point where I even compared myself to a fantasy of my own: the perfect Christian girl. She’s got
She’s gentle, kind, caring, speaks with wisdom, and is just the most Godly gal around.
She’s beyond content with her relationship status, while boys’ hearts drop like flies for this gal.
She knows God has a time and reason for everything and never questions it. Honestly, the
whole package. Did I mention she’s drop dead gorgeous? Here’s the thing, I began to believe
more in the fantasy of this girl than I did in the fantasies I grew up watching. This girl doesn’t
even exist. The reality is that I’m a complete mess most of the time but I am not alone in that. I
got to the end of myself and just started admitting it, I want to love someone so bad. I do. When
I decided to be translucent, I realized that every girl around me feels the same way.
You’ve got to remember,
The devil is a liar.
You are not alone.
After that brick wall hit me, my mentor dropped a bomb on my beautiful idea of marriage.
She handed me a bible and said, “Audrey, can you show me where marriage is promised?”
**brain shuts down** WOW OK. Believe it or not, Song of Solomon did not pull through for me
on this one. Neither did Genesis, Galatians, Corinthians, or Ephesians. Nope; Matthew, Mark,
Luke, or John didn’t do the either trick. As scary as it is, marriage isn’t a promise that God has
made to us. Singleness is either there for a lasting season or a lasting reason. Before you
absolutely flip, much like I did, Paul does speak about a peace that will be given to those who
aren’t called to marriage. Marriage and singleness are both equally righteous and both give God
glory. However, I believe that a big part of me has just banked on being married. I was more
concerned with who my future spouse was than how I can uplift my brother in Christ. While not
a promise, a righteous marriage is one of the many gifts we can be given. As much as I love
Thomas Rhett’s “Grave” (disclaimer: I’m obsessed), marriage is not something that will follow us
to Heaven. Idolizing “love” is a serious struggle. We cannot love the gift more than the Giver.
For this reason, that KB so creatively explains,
“Never put God after another man or
another man will become your God and
God will become another man.”
Pre-sin, Adam and Eve never questioned who they were made for and Who they were
made from. They loved each other but never even questioned if God was above it all. By the
three of these, their world was made whole. Then, sin crashed the party creating in us a “hole,”
a black hole that constantly needs and desires more. We’re going to constantly want love but it
cannot be all that we want. God is the only thing that can truly satisfy my craving because He is
boundless (shocking, I know; chocolate is not boundless). Finding a blue-eyed babe won’t fix
my desire to be loved. The desire in our hearts cannot be satisfied by marriage. Love is greater
than we can understand. Love is a real Man, one who died to tell me He loves me.
Do I often forget literally all of this and still feel lonely and search other places for
contentment? Great question! Absolutely. This is why it is so vital to seek Him daily. Memorize
scripture. Pray and talk to God. As He says in Psalm 34, “Come, my children, listen to me; I will
teach you the fear of the Lord.” In seeking Him, we will “lack nothing, no good thing.”
A single Cinderella can be satisfied, too. Ultimately, Cinderella tried her best to
hide her brokenness. In the end, Prince Charming loved her within every bit of it. Broken
is the new beautiful, babe.
With every bit of love,