As I walked with my fresh salad over to the table where my friend was sitting, I was so excited to see her. It had been far too long since the last time we’d met up. As I sat down to eat, she asked the question “So are there any boys in your life?” I looked at her and didn’t know how to reply other than “Well I haven’t met anyone since last week!” We both laughed. This conversation is just a small example of the many relationship based conversations I have had throughout my years as a single girl. You see, I live in a town where if you are 25 and not married, you are categorized as an “old maid.”
In college, I always wanted to meet my special someone. I met several guys I considered special, however graduation approached in 2012, and I was not in a long-term relationship. Over the years I have seen so many of my friends fall in love and get married. I have been a bridesmaid and celebrated love... just not my own love story. I have gone through times thinking “oh woe is me, where in the world is my husband?” and I have had many people tell me they will set me up, but then they never do. I have had several friends tell me to try online dating, and of course some people in my family have alluded to wanting to be grandparents… haha!
Why have I not been in the dating scene you might ask? Well, since graduating I have been working full time, pursuing my master’s degree, building a girls ministry and living the single life. God has made each of our stories and journeys to find love unique in His own way. Honestly, I don’t mind waiting! Did I seriously just say that? Yes, I did! I don’t mind waiting because I am waiting for a love that will last a lifetime. I am not going to settle for just any guy. I am not going to lower my standards for a “good guy” when I can wait for a GREAT guy; the perfect guy for me. Is this hard? Yes! It is so hard. I have Friday nights when I wish I was going out with my boyfriend, or when I wish I was planning my wedding, but I remind myself this is what God has planned for me during this season of life.
I never thought I would fully reach the point where 90% of the time I am okay being single. Working in my profession I see a lot of broken relationship and broken homes and I have seen my friends who are in their 20’s already going through divorces. These instances make me thankful I am single. Most importantly, God has help me realize that regardless if I ever get married or not, God has to always be enough for me! Why? Because who knows, I could get married to the love of my life and then his life could be taken, leaving me on my own again. I have to realize that no matter what life throws my way, God’s grace is sufficient for all of my needs.
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
This verse is the most applicable to my struggle. My weakness is the fact that I am making my hope to one day become a wife, an idol in my life. I have worked on reminding myself that God’s grace is sufficient for me! He meets all of my needs. I already have a relationship with someone who loves me with an everlasting love, with more love than my future hubby will be able to give me, and that’s my relationship with The Lord.
So how did I get to where I am? Definitely not overnight. But what I have done are simple things. It is still a struggle, but 90% of the time I feel content with where I am.
These are just four steps that I have tried to implement in my life, and I have had some pretty awesome years while doing so! So if you’re single, be proud that you’re single! Don’t just sit by wishing and waiting! Be active! Be you! But most of all, enjoy your "YOU" TIME! YOU ARE ONLY SINGLE ONCE!!