Dating is one of those things that you’ll never fully get the hang of. I’m just going to come out and say it. Relationships (especially with boys!) can be awesome and fun, but they can also be messy and heartbreaking.
If I would’ve known better (and been a little wiser) I would have spent a lot more time considering who I dated in high school. I would have sought wise counsel and prayed over my decisions. I’m sure I would have had a lot less weepy nights if I just spent a little more time “researching” entering into a relationship with a boy.
I know the big question when you first start wanting to date is “when is the right time to have a boyfriend?” I believe that deciding when you should be able to go out with a boy is more than just how old you are. Just because you are sixteen doesn’t mean you are in the right place maturity wise or spiritually wise to date.
When you are deciding if it is the right time for you to start dating or not, use these seven filters to help you decide:
1. What do your parents/mentors say? (Not every girl has parents she can have this conversation with. Everyone’s home lives are different. However, this is not an excuse to not have this conversation with your parents because you think it may be awkward.)
2. What do your friends say?
3. What does Scripture say? (Turn to 2 Corinthians 6:14, he has to be a Christian if you ever want it to work! This is plain and clear in scripture y’all!)
4. Have you prayed over it?
5. What do you feel the Lord is saying to you during your prayer time?
6. Will there be any negative effects? (Losing a friend is not worth a high school boyfriend, trust me.)
7. How is your current relationship with the Lord? Are you spiritually weak or strong?
If there are any negative answers to the questions above, back off from pursuing a dating relationship at that time. Just because it isn’t right time right now, doesn’t me it won’t be the right time later.
Paul encourages believers in Corinthians to be content with being single (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). If you are struggling with being single, I encourage you with this: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Our plans do not always match up perfectly with God’s plans for us. But I am so happy I have a King who knows better than I.
Written by: Brittany K.